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Edmund Onward James





Joined: 04 Jun 2009
Posts: 1317
Reputation: 55
votes: 2

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:24 pm    Post subject: Send old guys to fight the bastards Reply with quote

Neil, a creative friend from down south, emailed this to me. It might've been written by a true veteran, regardless, it makes a lot of sense.

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists.

You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

It's purposely in big type so veterans and old guys can read it.


They can draft me... or where do I sign up? My books will be published posthumously. "Barbarians" would sell because I decided to fight the modern day ones with the same ideology.
Mac





Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 5500
Reputation: 104
votes: 35
Location: John Baird's riding...

PostPosted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I got that email a while back from a retired buddy who added his own comments to the effect "As long as it doesn't mess with my tee off time, I'm in..." :lol:

-Mac
fiscalconservative





Joined: 08 Dec 2008
Posts: 1043
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votes: 6

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:57 am    Post subject: Re: Send old guys to fight the bastards Reply with quote

Edmund Onward James wrote:

You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.


This seems like a rather dumbass attitude. Since there is such shortage of proper recruits, they should be looking at different age ranges. There are some 40 yearold who are fitter than some of the people they accept in their 20's. You could also look at non-combat rolls. Cooks, truck drivers, etc.
Mac





Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 5500
Reputation: 104
votes: 35
Location: John Baird's riding...

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:24 am    Post subject: Re: Send old guys to fight the bastards Reply with quote

fiscalconservative wrote:
This seems like a rather dumbass attitude. Since there is such shortage of proper recruits, they should be looking at different age ranges. There are some 40 yearold who are fitter than some of the people they accept in their 20's. You could also look at non-combat rolls. Cooks, truck drivers, etc.

When you take a joke and look at it literally, what do you expect? :roll:

-Mac
Edmund Onward James





Joined: 04 Jun 2009
Posts: 1317
Reputation: 55
votes: 2

PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Frankly, one would think that this might help Obamacare with the old guys. Ah fellas and ladies, we can't look after you medically but just think what you could do for your country, for me, the anointed one.
kwlafayette





Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 6155
Reputation: 156.2Reputation: 156.2
votes: 28
Location: Saskatoon Saskatchewan

PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My high school gym teacher always told me, "old age and trickery will always overcome youth and skill".
Mac





Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 5500
Reputation: 104
votes: 35
Location: John Baird's riding...

PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kwlafayette wrote:
My high school gym teacher always told me, "old age and trickery will always overcome youth and skill".

Before or after he bounced the dodge-ball off your head? :lol:

-Mac
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