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JBG





Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 823
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votes: 8
Location: NYC Area

PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2008 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mac wrote:
It's coming up on 30 years... I wonder if they're planning another reunion?

-Mac
Organize it. It's a good thing to have.
Mac





Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 5500
Reputation: 104
votes: 35
Location: John Baird's riding...

PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JBG wrote:
Organize it. It's a good thing to have.

I'm over 900 miles away. Most of them still live in the area. Perhaps I'll just call my old girlfriend and ask if someone is planning a reunion and, if so, when...

-Mac
JBG





Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 823
Reputation: 93.1Reputation: 93.1
votes: 8
Location: NYC Area

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 9:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JBG wrote:
That fall (immediately after being tossed out of the sleepaway camp, also discussed in OP), I was in the weather center at my high school. Now, my name is an obviously Jewish last name, and his isn't. I was cracking a crass joke about Jews. Out of nowhere (not being aware he was part of the discussion) he said "Jim, where's your pride in being Jewish"? I asked him if he was Jewish, and he said "yes". We also happened to be in Western Civilization History together. While we talked every now and then, we were far from close friends.

After returning from a cross-country trip (link to earlier post) I decided, for a lot of reasons, that I needed a different group of friends. Jim was one of that new group but we were never close during high school. In fact, often, quite the contrary.

JBG wrote:
UPDATE:

Tonight, I attended a "Sh'va" or condolensce call at the house of an old sleepaway camp acquaintance, Marc. R. His father passed away Sunday after a long battle with leukemia. That in itself is not extraordinary, but what led me there tells a lot about life.

ANOTHER UPDATE, and CORRECTION:

Yet another Sh'va call, this time Jim's father died. I was, again, apparently the only one from our home town of Scarsdale that he asked to attend. At a Sh'va call, memories of the dead person are recalled and discussed. I had many memories of Jim's father, including, in particular the fact that I "ape" his briefing style when I do legal writing.

My memory was jarred, and I now remember that it was after my father's death in January 1973 that I decided I needed to retool my list of friends. The problem was that many of them had the maturity level, at best, of Grade 7 students, and we were in Grad 10. The condolensce notes from the "old" group of friends were scribbled, often illegible, and written in barely grammatical English. It was almost "Internet-speak" 1973 style.

Still, it is amazing that one can be far closer friends with people some 33 years after the event that brought you together, high school, was over and done with, and life since has taken us to different countries and continents.
Mac





Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 5500
Reputation: 104
votes: 35
Location: John Baird's riding...

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JBG wrote:
Still, it is amazing that one can be far closer friends with people some 33 years after the event that brought you together, high school, was over and done with, and life since has taken us to different countries and continents.

My condolences as it appears the passing of Jim's father had an impact on you as well.

In the past two months, I've lost two family members and, although I wasn't close with either of them, their passing brought our families together and provoked interesting recollections... including some unanswered questions which I had that I found others had as well...

By the way, my old girlfriend said she hadn't heard anything about a reunion but she was glad to hear from me.

-Mac
JBG





Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 823
Reputation: 93.1Reputation: 93.1
votes: 8
Location: NYC Area

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mac wrote:
My condolences as it appears the passing of Jim's father had an impact on you as well.

Sure did.

His father and I sometimes got along splendidly and sometimes not at all. Jim asked me to describe his father to someone else, specifically if he was "down to earth". I said that he was as course as sandpaper but one of the most genuine people I knew.
Mac wrote:

In the past two months, I've lost two family members and, although I wasn't close with either of them, their passing brought our families together and provoked interesting recollections... including some unanswered questions which I had that I found others had as well...
Were those questions answered?
Mac wrote:

By the way, my old girlfriend said she hadn't heard anything about a reunion but she was glad to hear from me.

-Mac
Good to hear.
Mac





Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 5500
Reputation: 104
votes: 35
Location: John Baird's riding...

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JBG wrote:
Sure did.

His father and I sometimes got along splendidly and sometimes not at all. Jim asked me to describe his father to someone else, specifically if he was "down to earth". I said that he was as course as sandpaper but one of the most genuine people I knew.

There's a certain amount to be said for speaking one's mind directly and candidly. I've shocked a few people over the years by telling them exactly what I thought of them but I tend to use that coarseness like a tool in the appropriate situation.

JBG wrote:
Were those questions answered?

Unfortunately, no... but I was surprised to find I wasn't the only one who had those questions. Sometimes, the ghosts of the past are best left undisturbed, even if that means leaving questions unanswered.

Two deaths within two weeks, two uncles who were the same age but never met and in no way resembled each other. My father's older brother (a Navy veteran & stationary engineer) and my mother-in-law's brother (a Holocaust survivor rescued by Raoul Wallenberg). I honour them both but I cannot claim I understood either of them.

JBG wrote:
Good to hear.

Strangely enough, she actually recognized my voice. Hmmm...

-Mac
Mac





Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 5500
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votes: 35
Location: John Baird's riding...

PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 11:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A bit of an update... I got an email from another schoolmate. I haven't heard from her since we graduated from high school. I replied and we chatted a bit, updated on where each of us ended up in life.

I made some self-deprecating remark about my level of maturity (or lack thereof) back then. She surprised me by commenting that she didn't think that was the case at all and reminding me of an incident which she recalled clearly (which I had forgotten completely) where I interceded on behalf of a mutual friend (another who I haven't seen since I graduated) when she was beset by the same bullies I mentioned earlier in this thread.

Once reminded of the incident, I sat quietly over a cup of tea and sorted through those distant memories. I'd come upon the bullies and knew I had to pass by them to get to my next class. When her hat was thrown, I grabbed it and handed it back to her, then sent her on her way... which made me the target but I was used to that. Although I wasn't one to start a fight, I was always strong so I could give as good as I got when it came to "push and shove" in the hallway, especially when I knew it was coming.

I considered the conflict as just another day at school and hadn't considered my intercession as being anything more than just being polite. Evidently, others had a different perspective... and that's what this thread is about... a different perspective...

-Mac
JBG





Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 823
Reputation: 93.1Reputation: 93.1
votes: 8
Location: NYC Area

PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 7:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JBG wrote:
Mac wrote:
My condolences as it appears the passing of Jim's father had an impact on you as well.

Sure did.

His father and I sometimes got along splendidly and sometimes not at all. Jim asked me to describe his father to someone else, specifically if he was "down to earth". I said that he was as course as sandpaper but one of the most genuine people I knew

Yet another update.

Jim, along with many other close friends, was at my son's Bar Mitzvah yesterday. I seated him with Doug, who I learned separately went to camp with him. They hadn't seen each other since 1971. I knew Doug through a Western (U.S. with a short stop in Canada and Mexico) trip I took in 1973. Jim and I figured out we both knew (edited spelling) Doug during 1977. In 1991 Doug was the "best man" at my wedding.


Last edited by JBG on Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:52 pm; edited 1 time in total
Mac





Joined: 02 Sep 2006
Posts: 5500
Reputation: 104
votes: 35
Location: John Baird's riding...

PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JBG wrote:
Yet another update.

Jim, along with many other close friends, was at my son's Bar Mitzvah yesterday. I seated him with Doug, who I learned separately went to camp with him. They hadn't seen each other since 1971. I knew Doug through a Western (U.S. with a short stop in Canada and Mexico) trip I took in 1973. Jim and I figured out we both new Doug during 1977. In 1991 Doug was the "best man" at my wedding.

What a great way to celebrate life!

-Mac
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